You caught my eye.

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I have no clue as to when it happened. It just did. Is that a good enough reason? I never planned to fall for you. Even if I did, I never planned to fall this deep 'cause I'm a bad swimmer. I drown easily and, in this ocean; this ocean of emotions; I have no chance in coming out alive.
&; so then I realized, perhaps in your heart, I'd never be able to take their place. Your friends will always come first, or am I wrong? Oh please, you don't know how much I wished that was true, how much I hoped that I had made the wrong inference. You don't know me well enough, do you?

I'd never admit it.

I stay awake at night, pondering over what I said to you. Maybe that was wrong, judging from your response. I've been hurt too many times, I decided to give up completely. Your existence merely awakened my desire. Desire; now what is it? Is it that something that makes an ant attracted to sugar? Butterfly to scent? Or perhaps, me to you?

But deep down, I know it's true.

Where did I go wrong? That message, the first one I sent to you completely changed me. It led me to knowing you, to understanding you, to befriending you. Those talks, those laughter, did it mean nothing to you? It certainly meant something to me. I don't know if I'm reading to much, but yet at the same time, I have this phobia that I am.
Falling in love is a strange thing. Fall in love with caution, that my rule. Love is like a double edged sword. Someone can make you feel like everything and nothing in a matter of seconds. Love is scary. Love is evil. Love is, love. Once someone hurts you and breaks your heart, you start to have this phobia. A phobia that everyone you get close with will break your heart into a gazillion little pieces too and then just walk away without looking back. I have that phobia. I wonder what it’s called in scientific terms.

How would you ever know?

Aloof, that's not the word. Sure, you're outgoing. You weren't like that in the past, but things can change in a matter of a few seconds, so what about months? I'm getting confused by the second. I'm jealous that we can't have what I can have with other people. The comfortable feeling of randomly crapping without worrying that I might say something wrong and embarrass myself. Is perfection that important? Perfection sucks. Because of that, we make ourselves out to be so fake. That's the reason why I like to hang around your friends with you, cause that's when you are yourself, and I can also comfortably be myself. Who cares about embarrassing ourselves? Oh please, just forget all that rules of humiliation.

Should I not?

The memories I have with you, it consists of you, your friends, your smile, your face and the way you hold your tummy when you laugh uncontrollably. Those good memories never fail to flood my mind, most of the time that's why I space out. I shouldn't, knowing that I'm not ready for anything. You told me that too, you're not interested. So perhaps you're just being friendly, just like how I was at first. Until I realized I was only a step away from the bottomless pit.

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Dear Diary;

What happened to Fairytales?

So it seems, fairytales never fail to end with happy endings.

But I'd never trust them. 'Cause fairytales never let you know what happens after the ending.

And sometimes, I wonder what happens.