This is bad. REAL bad.

If you can't love the one you love, love the one who loves you.

It's mean. And I've always known that.

You're playing with fire again. What the hell, seriously. Haven't you learnt from your lesson previously when your fingertips got burnt? Was the burning process too mild that you decided to try again? Did you think that nothing would go wrong this time? You're wrong. You can't be more wrong than this. I mean, don't you understand? You should be learning from experience. You shouldn't be trying it out anymore. You shouldn't hurt the ones you care for. You shouldn't. Really.
Gosh, I'm in a mess. Can I be more messed up than this?


In love, you can never make a wrong turn. You can never fall too deep and you can never climb too high cause sometimes.. No matter how much you love someone, they will never love you back and sometimes.. You have to learn to be okay with that. Then there will always be this one person. This one special person that no matter what they do to you, you can never let go of them and that stinks cause.. it’s not fair.

How can you make me fall in love with you but not love me back?

It sucks. It sucks BIG TIME.

Learning to overcome.

There a limit as to when my bottle is too full to fill anything else in. It's the time I feel like breaking down, after all the accumulated moments where I hold it back in. But the same thing always repeats like a broken recorder. I'd never in my life be able to cry when I'm hurt emotionally. I'd stay like that, without tears, and eventually I'd be so miserable I'd just keep away from the world. It's the kind of shit that happens; the kind I would like to avoid, to push to the ultimate back of the mind cause I know I'd never be able to get rid of it.
I've always been able to handle this independently. It won't be different this time round. What's different is the people around me, I'm clear of who are the ones who are true to me. This time round, I'm thankful to those who made me laugh, to made me less painful. What's different is that more shit was added, how your swings made me confused, how I learnt to overcome that.
I don't want to be unhappy everyday and yet have to pretend I'm not, to fake my positiveness. I want it to come naturally. I've learnt to face the music, to endure whatever pain taking the least time possible. That way, at least I'd overcome it; at least I won't suffer through other days.

My 徒弟 is ♥-ed (:

Things are getting out of hand. I don't mind, 'cause that's how I always have been. But I'm very sure not everyone knows about how my personality is. I mean, I don't get in touch with every single one of them; I don't even know some of them. It's natural for them to think too much. Gosh, I hope I didn't get him into too much trouble.
People who don't express their real emotions are the people I'm kinda afraid of, cause I don't know their opinion of me. I don't want to cause him to be in the midst of the rumour, I didn't mean to, anyway. Well, hope he's coping well. LOL. Or maybe, I'm thinking too much, maybe these will do him good. HAHAHAHA. OKAY, I THINK IM OFFICIALLY CRAZY (:
Life goes on, I know.
I KNOW. OHMYGOD. GOING TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY AND HEARING HIS NAME ONCE THE VOLLEYBALLERS COME INTO CLASS. YES, I GET IT. IT'S LIFE. HAHAHAHHAHAHHAA. I don't understand the fuss; maybe I'm too friendly (once again, reminded of the lecture I once had).
You know, I feel very much better after talking to him. Yeah, thanks, 徒弟♥
At least now I know I'm not alone; I don't have to take all this stuff alone (:

loves;delphine.

Miranda Cosgrove - About you now

Maybe I'm wrong, you decide
Should've been strong, yeah I lied
Nobody gets me like...you

Couldn't keep hold of you then
How could I know what you meant?
There was nothing to compare to

There's a mountain between us
But there's one thing I'm sure of
That I know how I feel about you

[CHORUS:]
Can we bring yesterday back around?
Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now

All that it takes, one more chance
Don't let our last kiss be our last
I'm out of my mind, just to show you

I know everything changes
I don't care where it takes us
Cause I know how I feel about you

[CHORUS:]
Can we bring yesterday back around?
Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now

[BRIDGE:]
Not a day, pass me by
Not a day, pass me by
When I don't think about you
And there's no moving on
Cause I know, you're the one
And I can't be without you

[CHORUS: (x2)]
Can we bring yesterday back around?
Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now

But I know how I feel about you now
Yeah I know how I feel about you now

I'm th rain. I bring happiness and joy; sadness and hatred.

I'm bad at crossroads.
Say, what should I do when I meet one then?

Ohmygod. This video is just so cute. I freaking LOVE Cody and her cuteness and her reaction when she saw Justin Bieber. He's starting to seem nice too. HAHA.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. SHE IS SO CUTE! AND THAT HUG! LOL!
Okay, I've going crazy. HAHAHAHA

OhMyGod.
I hope you're not talking about me. I hope you've moved on. That day, last year, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to break my heart into two and then give it to two people. I was stupid; foolish. And I seriously hope it's over. Those days I was afraid you would find out, Those days I was sad when you found out, and those days we ignored each other. It's over, ain't it? It's my fault, it ain't yours. We shouldn't be snatching over this, but it's all mine. I'm not regretting the first advance I made, I just regretted I made it known too fast. Perhaps I should have confirmed the feeling, before I even said it out. Because of your reply, I turned away, ashamed. And because of that, I got distracted.
We're friends.
Of course we are.
I'm just sorry it took me this long, to give you a reply.

What's the use?

&; Multiple times.

Yawns. So, some small information: I decided to clear my tagboard away cause I feel vry pathetic without tags for a very long time. I doubt anyone is even reacing my blog. So yeah.

Last Friday[16.04.10]: @ Joel's house. Completely fun.
Last Saturday[17.04.10]: @ Scrabble Competition. Completely nerve wrecking, though my team did win all 3 rounds each, which adds up to 15 wins.
Yesterday[22.04.10]: @ Chinese. Test. @ Physics. Test. @ Guides. I and Eileen can't do drills cause of eczema, so we went to the Haven to pack up a little then settle down to do homework. Then it started raining heavily, even when I was waiting to take 300. And this time, 300 took a freaking long time to arrive, and I was drenched.
Today[23.04.10]: @ Social Studies. Like usual, boring. @ Physics. Mr Nicholas purposely ignore me when I raise my hand. AGAIN. Many other KP stuff but I'm not going to relate to the whole world about my misfortune. Just my luck to have made enemies with him. Pffft. @ English. uhh, I forgot what happened, but it was funny. (Marvin kept goping my grape mentos, cause he said it was damn nice. 'v' ) @ Literature. Idk why, I was rather pissed off during this lesson. And then Ming Ee has to just start being irritating and pass notes to Rannald Sim. I was seriously pissed off, for no reason. Stupid mood. @ Robotics. Went there, had some kinda meeting. Then Extra arrived. The holy arrival and start of my misery. (Y) 'kkays, nothng interesting. Except that I uncovered some bad news ( to me ). Sigh.

And so I realized ; Being friendly is also a bad thing.

Sometimes, she can't help but just stop and think.

Is he worth my tears?

They say that the person who makes you cry ain't worth it, and the one who is won't make you cry. How can she trust that when there are so many cases of broken hearts that can never heal? To her, love ain't a game. Everyone says that love hurts. But she thinks otherwise. Loneliness; Rejection; Losing someone hurts. In reality, she knows that L-O-V-E is the only thing in the whole wide world that can cover up all the pain and broken cracks, and make her feel wonderful again. But after he appeared in her life and turned things upside down, she ain't sure anymore.
How can she, when he's perfect for her, yet unsuitable at the same time?

They say, follow your heart. What happens when both your heart and mind is against each other and their arguements make total sense to you? So sometimes, following your heart ain't the right choice always. There's always bound to be obstacles.

But she, she chose to follow her heart.

And see what happened to her now.

Dear Diary;

So what if I had make the choice of facing up?

Is there any difference between us compared to the past? No. Are there any improvements? No. Do we talk? No. Sure, we had fun. But besides that, did we even communicate? Nah. The answer? No.

Okay, so tell me what's the use of facing up to my problems when even facing up doesn't help solve the problem. What's the difference then?

I've heard a lot about you, I've seen much of you. But I don't know which is the real you. How can you be one person, with three different characters at the same time? So you claim 'that', but was 'that' just an excuse to avoid a face-to-face confrontation with me? I realized we were closer previously. When I would see you and talk to you, instead of now.

OhMyGod.

You caught my eye.

........♥#########♥
.....♥#############♥
...♥###############♥
..♥#################♥..................♥###♥
..♥##################♥..........♥#########♥
....♥#################♥......♥#############♥
.......♥################♥..♥###############♥
.........♥################♥################♥
...........♥###############################♥
..............♥############################♥
................♥#########################♥
..................♥######################♥
....................♥###################♥
......................♥#################♥
........................♥##############♥
...........................♥###########♥
.............................♥#########♥
...............................♥#######♥
.................................♥#####♥
...................................♥###♥
.....................................♥#♥
.......................................♥
......................................♥
.....................................♥
...................................♥
.................................♥
..............................♥
............................♥
.........................♥
......................♥
..................♥
.............♥
.........♥
......♥
....♥
......♥......................♥...♥
..........♥.............♥............♥
..............♥.....♥...................♥
...................♥.....................♥
................♥......♥..............♥
..............♥.............♥....♥
.............♥
...........♥
..........♥
.........♥
.........♥
..........♥
..............♥
...................♥
..........................♥
...............................♥
.................................♥
.................................♥
..............................♥
.........................♥
..................♥
.............♥
.....♥
...♥
.♥.............................♥....♥
♥..........................♥...........♥
.♥......................♥................♥
..♥...................♥..................♥
...♥....................................♥
.....♥................................♥
........♥.........................♥
...........♥...................♥
..............♥..............♥
..................♥.......♥
.....................♥..♥

I have no clue as to when it happened. It just did. Is that a good enough reason? I never planned to fall for you. Even if I did, I never planned to fall this deep 'cause I'm a bad swimmer. I drown easily and, in this ocean; this ocean of emotions; I have no chance in coming out alive.
&; so then I realized, perhaps in your heart, I'd never be able to take their place. Your friends will always come first, or am I wrong? Oh please, you don't know how much I wished that was true, how much I hoped that I had made the wrong inference. You don't know me well enough, do you?

I'd never admit it.

I stay awake at night, pondering over what I said to you. Maybe that was wrong, judging from your response. I've been hurt too many times, I decided to give up completely. Your existence merely awakened my desire. Desire; now what is it? Is it that something that makes an ant attracted to sugar? Butterfly to scent? Or perhaps, me to you?

But deep down, I know it's true.

Where did I go wrong? That message, the first one I sent to you completely changed me. It led me to knowing you, to understanding you, to befriending you. Those talks, those laughter, did it mean nothing to you? It certainly meant something to me. I don't know if I'm reading to much, but yet at the same time, I have this phobia that I am.
Falling in love is a strange thing. Fall in love with caution, that my rule. Love is like a double edged sword. Someone can make you feel like everything and nothing in a matter of seconds. Love is scary. Love is evil. Love is, love. Once someone hurts you and breaks your heart, you start to have this phobia. A phobia that everyone you get close with will break your heart into a gazillion little pieces too and then just walk away without looking back. I have that phobia. I wonder what it’s called in scientific terms.

How would you ever know?

Aloof, that's not the word. Sure, you're outgoing. You weren't like that in the past, but things can change in a matter of a few seconds, so what about months? I'm getting confused by the second. I'm jealous that we can't have what I can have with other people. The comfortable feeling of randomly crapping without worrying that I might say something wrong and embarrass myself. Is perfection that important? Perfection sucks. Because of that, we make ourselves out to be so fake. That's the reason why I like to hang around your friends with you, cause that's when you are yourself, and I can also comfortably be myself. Who cares about embarrassing ourselves? Oh please, just forget all that rules of humiliation.

Should I not?

The memories I have with you, it consists of you, your friends, your smile, your face and the way you hold your tummy when you laugh uncontrollably. Those good memories never fail to flood my mind, most of the time that's why I space out. I shouldn't, knowing that I'm not ready for anything. You told me that too, you're not interested. So perhaps you're just being friendly, just like how I was at first. Until I realized I was only a step away from the bottomless pit.

_________________

Dear Diary;

What happened to Fairytales?

So it seems, fairytales never fail to end with happy endings.

But I'd never trust them. 'Cause fairytales never let you know what happens after the ending.

And sometimes, I wonder what happens.

One word: Frustrated.

Three's a crowd.

I know it ain't your fault, but somehow, it just is. I'm not trying to be ureasonable. But I somehow feel that you're slowly avoiding me. Sure, this matter can be easily resolved when I decide against doing what I at first intended to do. But what now?
Your attitude. It's cute. It seems to change according to my mood. When you kinda sense I'm not happy, you'd try to give in to me. Is that right? You're in a spot.
Now the time has come.
For me to face up.

Should I forward bravely and hide my fears, or hide from you like a cowardy wimp?

& so here I am, waiting again.

Today, someone asked if I missed you.

I didn't answer but simply close my eyes and walk away,

whispering "so much".

I don't know if I should hate you or trust you.

Someone told me, the opposite of L-O-V-E ain't hate, but indifferent.
That's cause when you hate someone, you actually care about feeling hatred for him, you actually want him to think that you have no feelings for him anymore. That ain't the case most of the time. We usually give up on things we think we're not meant to be with.
Watching you change in front of my eyes hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it finally will be when the right one comes along.
The Chinese saying goes, "有缘无份". That's the case for us, ain't it? We hardly coincide with each other. Most of the time, we don't bump into each other. It always seeing you from afar, smiles replacing words, exchanging feelings through media. This kinda sucks.
I hate to admit, but maybe this is for real. It feels weird, but I don't know how to differentiate this feeling from the others.
或许我又再做梦了。或许事情的真相并不是我想象的那样。但我依然还是希望我所判断的是对的。为什么对我与众不同呢？又为什么要接近我呢？为何我身边的人都认为你对我有好感，但我却不敢真心面对呢？可能我经历太多了，认为你的行为只不过是朋友之间的亲近。但我却又不敢开口问。就那么一句话；我一看到你，脑里乱得很。这可还是第一次，我没胆告诉一个人我的真心。
I didn't think you understood my sms'es. Sure, I might be like that open to people I sms, but I'm trying to cut it down with others now, to show you what I mean. I'm blunt, I'd say I wanna see you or whatever, and you did that too. But do you understand my real meaning?
What I meant was, I'd wait for you.
Maybe I'm hoping you'd understand, but a little smart part of me tells me this ain't gonna work out. 'Cause everything might be ruined if you know.
So perhaps, just perhaps, I'd rather you not know...

When faced with two choices, toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you're hoping for.

Which reminds me, yesterday was Joel's Birthday. thus,

HappyBelatedBirthday, JoelKer @ 5April (:

I think this is the eighth time I said this already. Oh well.

Moody.

Once a diamond is scratched, it can be polished to be as shiny as ever. If it's scratched the second time, it can be polished again, and so on. But one day you'd realize, even though the Diamond is as shiy as ever, it's carat is getting smaller and smaller. It doesn't stay the same way at all.
___
I'm seriously moody these few days. Why? I have no idea. It just hits me, and I just change all of a sudden.
Classes are getting more boring by the day. My partner ain't talking much, the teachers are boring cause I can't talk freely with them. Books are starting to irritate me, worksheets getting more stranger by the day. Formulas float past my mind. _I_
I'm damn irritated okay.
Okay. Nevermind. I don't make sense. I think I'm starting to get the Ming Ee disease. Sigh.

___

Ths is weird. I think I get what you mean. Maybe I should stop hoping.

Happy April's Fool!

I'm tired of the games you're playing.

Hey Arpil's Fool people!
Damn, I'm so shacked. The guides proposal kept me going on. Sigh.
____
Today was, funny? PE, four P2 guys came to our class. And no one realized anything. Anyway, we had badminton lessons. I was partnering Daryl, but later somehow, she wanted to change. So I played with WeiCheng, that cheater who kept hitting softly. ROAR.
I couldn't stand it, so I forced Daryl to change Marcus over. Ohkay, I admit my aiming is horrible. I can't serve well enough. That's damn sad. I kept making Marcus laugh with my horrid skill. Haha. Ohkay, that's PHAIL.
Daryl pangseh me for WeiCheng luh. Second round, partnered Marcus again, and instead of following the "schedule", we just continued playing. Damn own.
Then recess time, but we just continued playing. I played with Fahmi, and I got owned terribly. We played until my hands were wobbling. Haha.
_____
April's Fool prank wasn't very successful. Haha.
After school, ate with Jane, then fall-ed in for Guides. Headed off to the National Museum.
Stupid bus was jerking all the way. Anyway, I was Rachelle's Model for the day, and I posed unglamly for all the shots. Haha.
It's rare that I was in a good mood, of course I had to extend it to everyone else :D
Hahahaha.
Im horribly tired.
Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

喜欢你，根本不需要原因。

Damn you, migraine.

I have found the best way to lie : to just keep my mouth shut.

Hello, I'm back. Welcome-d, not?
Chemistry test today. I'm sure I'd flunk.

Stupid migraine. Damn you to hell.

Homework is piling up.

After school, we(Daryl, MingEe, Glenn, Elaine, etc) waited outside 3P2 for Francisca, to wait to give her, her birthday present. Nice pair of earphones. (: There was a blackout again. This morning there was one, another one when school was about to end. Why does it seem to only happen at out pathetic level? Even the secondary fours were not affected. That's so bloody unfair, ohkay.

Headed off to cafe for my "lunch", and ohkay, the cafe aunty was scolding her helpers again. Yeouch. Sorry I can't do anything, I felt so bad. Elaine and me sat down, crapped, and laughed a lot. :X

Then we headed off to iBand, we chionged the performance. I kinda made one mistake, but I don't care. After all, it's the last performance already. Get it done, and over with.

We finished, and headed off to library resource room to watch the Inconvenient Truth. That show POOWNZ, okay. El Gore ownz.

Elaine left, YiXin left. Show ended @ 415, Dawn left. Marvin, Fahmi and Yuzhuang were with me. Of course, the usual routine of insulting me started. Tagged along with them as they went to the basketball court. Saw DarylTZJ and others, and started crapping while the guys played basketball.

Glenn left, Kahwei left, some others left, Joel left.

Then some random guy/fumer started fuming the whole basketball court area, and we all escaped unscathered. Went home, head aching like siao, rushed proposal, and finally finished blogging. Off to get my sleep.

It's damn sad, that you play along when you don't mean anything.

SPEECH DAY! (:

Yesterday's speech day was, interesting and a little boring?
Rachelle and Tommy had the of sitting together, and then everyone starting saying I was being very bright and I got pissed off at them. You don't have to repeat it everytime you see me. I already know, okay?
___
CO's performance was nice.
Prize presentation.
Choir.
___
After that, we (Tomy, Rachelle and me) got a drink. Which spilled onto me and my bag and my shirt and my shoe, thanks to Rachelle. Yeah, thanks dude (Not that sarcasm.) Then, we got food and went to the study area to eat. Jeshrei and Roy followed us and we started crapping around. Food finished, changed our shirts, and headed off to the front court when they started to play their basketball.
Joel went home.
Ming Ee went home.
DarylTHT and Siying chased after Ming Ee.
Then after a while, the uncle started to chase us away from the basketball court. Damn sad. So we (same 3) went to lot one to eat. Finally settled down at mac. and ate. And got my handphone pouch stained with CHILLI SAUCE. eeewwwyuckkkk! It stinks.
Then mom came to lot one, went to find her and dad and we headed off to pizza hut for dinner (:
Then.
HOME SWEET HOME!

Im trying very hard,

not to scare you away.

Homework Homework.

March Holiday Homework.

Geography

Ten Year Series: 2.1 2.2 2.3 (1)4-Qn6

Workbook: 6.3 6.4 6.5

Elementary.M

ReviewQn: 2 4 6 8 10 11 12

Log onto Heymath

Chemistry

Worksheet

Physics

Worksheet

Additional.M

Worksheet

Chinese

Worksheet

Lian Bi

Good me, I finish 5/9 homework. Oh well, I think there's more than 9, but I can't be bothered to write all down. That's all for now.
Toodles.

请原谅我的不告而别吧。

Yesterday.

Yesterday sure as hell was fun.
Basketball was fun. Daryl, Joyce, Kahwei, Ian, Ming Ee, Leon, Jeshrei turned up. But in the end, Jeshrei&Leon went off. Anyway, the bad news was that, I got labelled as rough, after a few rounds of playing. Sigh.
Went to mac after we finished paying, slacked, before taking LRT home with KahWei&Ian.
Shacked.
Totally.

You weren't there.

NoTITLE.

Today was hilarious. What a nice change.
I could totally just doze off during Chem lesson. I was seriously trying to keep myself awake, but my head kept dropping. 钓鱼, ChenAnn said. Like, totally.
MT period was slacking and talking like always.
CME. We got back our result slips. Rachelle and Shireen and officially my targets. Watch me, I'd beat them. Then, we headed off to the hall for Aces day stuff. Seriously, the guys behind me and DarylTHT were like totally high. Throughout th last part of the period, they kept adding background music to the song.
SS. I could totally sleep through this class. I mean, does Ms Wu even care? With Cedric effing pissing me off, I seriously had no mood to listen in class. I think I kinda slept through last ten minutes or something.
______________________
Groove It was boring.
After GI, I met Daryl at the basketball court and plopped down on the ground while she played. Those 45 minutes I watched them play was totally epic. I mean, add how they try to aim in from a far distance away and the totally funny end-result, and you get a totally hilarious scene. KahWei left to buy a drink, and when he came back, we were like all asking the drink from him. And after we drank from his straw, he promptly wiped it clean with his PE shirt..
415 arrived and we left to meet our geography teacher. She was kinda pissed at us for not choosing the question to consult her, but still.
After consultation, we went back to the court again. Kinda crapped with Daryl&HongCho before we left at 545PM, after I successfully dragged KahWei along with us to get home. Joe En left with him also. They went to 7-11, KahWei bought a drink, the topic of condoms was brought up, and I'm sure DarylTHT learnt some "useful lessons". Me being me, of course I drank from KahWei's drink again. (:
We walked to Lot One and I refused to let KahWei walk to South View. so they had to walk to Lot one with me. When we reached, we "split" as they started to walk with HongCho&DarylTHT to South View.

I knew the end result,

that only confirmed it more.

Was that move neccessary?

Couldn't you have spared me?

What happened?

I apologize for losing my sane mind; leaving me with my insanity.

I'm looking at you. You're looking at me. But we don't speak. Nothing happens, and I revert my eyes away. That was yesterday.
But today. I saw you. But I doubt you even noticed my presence. It's as if nothing happened between us, like time has reversed, to previously when we don't even know each other well.
The pang of pain clawing furiously at my heart forbids this, wanting me to stay, to go forward and change things. But my mind says, let it go 'cause it was never mine to begin with.
I chose to listen to my mind, because my heart could only take that much pain.
I let it be, I distanced myself from you. We don't acknowledge each other's presence now, and I realized that I was always the one acknowledging yours.
We were so close; I could just turn and see you already. But you were that far. i felt like that six words from you changed me. It hurt me, it sure did stab me. I willed myself not to turn around to face you, I chose to listen to the constant blabbering beside me, chose to laugh when a joke arouse, just to hide my hurt.

Baby, you have become my addiction ; oxo

It doesn't work.

I’m not the type to get my heart broken

I’m not the type to get upset and cry

Cause I never leave my heart open

Never hurts me to say goodbye

Relationships don’t get deep to me

Never got the whole in love thing

If someone could say love me truly

But at the time it didn’t mean a thing

____

Prehook:

My mind is gone

I’m spinnin’ around

And deep inside

My tears I’ll drown

I’m losing grip

What’s happening?

I stray from love

This is how I feel

____

Chorus:

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And they cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

____

Did it happen when we first kissed?

Cause its hurting me to let it go

Maybe cause we spent so much time

and I know that it’s no more

I should have never let u hold me baby

Maybe why I’m so sad to see us apart

I didn’t give it to u on purpose

Gotta figure out how u stole my heart

____

Prehook:

My mind is gone

I’m spinnin’ around

And deep inside

My tears I’ll drown

I’m losing grip

What’s happening?

I stray from love

This is how I feel

____

Chorus:

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And they cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

____

How did I get here with you?

I’ll never know

I never meant to let it get so personal

And after all I tried to do

To stay away from love with you

I’m broken-hearted

I can’t let you know

And I Won’t Let It Show

You won’t see me cry

____

Chorus x3:

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And they cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

____
Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

____
All my life

***

I have no idea what to think anymore.

When I'm sad, people will automatically tell me to cheer up. But don't they understand that the two words "cheer up" doesn't work for me anymore? These two words are like the politically correct words to use automatically whenever I'm sad. But these two words carry no meaning anymore. They're just empty words that can do nothing.

Those words you said, seem to be etched deep into me. Carved into my mind. Those 6 words.

__ ___ _____ _____ ___ _______.

Yeah, it kinda changed my perspective. It made me understand why people could feel sad when words hurt them.

I know something now. That people being happy, ain't because their life is finally perfect. It's because they have decided to see beyond imperfections. Perhaps I'm not into that stage yet, perhaps I'm not ready for that yet. I'm still harping on the past, something that I can't change.

I don’t understand at all why they simply call this feeling a heartbreak. Because to me, it feels like every part of my body is broken too.

OhMyBloodyblabbergoodnessGOD

I'm officially addicted to blogging once again. Well, a pleasure.

Suddenly, I realize typing makes me feel really really better. Anyway, FYI, I totally detest PhysicalEducation. Today I was so frickin out of breath that I kept stopping.

___

Amath was screwed. I totally ALMOST blew my top and get myself into big big horrid trouble. I have to attend anger management lessons already. I repeated a lot of times to myself, don't jerk back, don't jerk back, don't jerk back. It's not worth it. It's not. A lot of times in fact, before I jerked back. Seriously. I tried to control already. Gaaah. I mean, if the seating arrangement was arranged by our form teachers, why should you keep harping on it?

Damn.

ROAR.
I forgot what I want to post. Shall post later when I remember.

Takin' Back My Love (Feat. Ciara) - Enrique Iglesias

Go ahead just leave,

Can't hold you,

You're free

Here, take all these things,

If they mean so much to you

I gave you your dreams

'Cause you meant the world

So did I deserve

To be left here hurt?

___

You think I don't know

(uh huh)

You're out of control

(uh huh)

And then I'm finding all of this from my boys

Girl, you're stone cold

(uh huh)

You say it ain't so

(uh huh)

You already know I'm not attached to material

___

I'll give it all up, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

My love.

___

Yeah

What did I do but give love to you?

I'm just confused as I stand here and look at you

From head to feet

All that's not me

Go 'head, keep the keys

That's not what I need from you

___

You think that you know

(I do)

You've made yourself cold

(Oh, yeah)

How could you believe them over me?

I'm your girl

You're out of control

(So what?)

How could you let go?

(Oh, yeah)

Don't you know I'm not attached to material?

___

I'll give it all up, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

___

I'll give it all up, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

___

So all this love I gave you, take it away

(Uh, uh huh)

You think material's the reason I came

(Uh, uh huh)

If I had nothing would you want me to say

(Uh, uh huh)

You keep your money, take it all away

___

I'll give it all up, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love

___

I'll give it all up, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love

___

I'll give it all up, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much, but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

Ooh, my loveOoh, my love

They were lies, ain't it?

2/3/10
I was totally pissed off by her today. I really couldn't stand the way she flares her temper, gives us that face and expect us to do what she says. Mutual respect, heard of that? I bet you haven't. But she really pissed me off. I was only talking to Daryl, okay, perhaps you want peace. But for heaven sake, rebuking us is just making yourself seem less likable. Didn't you realize that in the first place?
Why do we have to see your face? Why is it any business that I talk? I want to talk to Daryl, KahWei or Marcus, is it any business of yours? I dont have the book and you chide me. And your sarcastic tone when you said I was a councillor, can't you be more polite?
OH GOSH.
I did that thing, Daryl and Marcus should know I think, and got Daryl laughing. But oh well, that really made me heave a sigh of relief, as if something tugging at my chest was thrown off. It felt good.
Perfectly good.
____

Why ain't you replying?

_
_
3/3/10
Wow.
So seats are changed. I was totally so close to my death. At first MsChew told JiaHeng to change with me, and he was seated beside HongCho. VERY VERY CLOSE to sitting beside HongCho.
Luckily, cause the class made a lot of "sounds", she decided to put me beside Chen Ann. I don't mind, cause at least Daryl is shifted to behind me (:
I already predicted that they would shift me away from Rachelle. I mean, it's really predictable. Well, I don't mind my current seating, cause at least I'm comfortable.

Hope MingEe cheers up.

After school, we had groove it.

___

How could you choose to believe them over me?

BLOODYHELL.

Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

-Katy Perry

Ugh. Im starting to build up a fiery temper in me.

Physics is screwed. I mean, only four (plus/minus) people passed Physics in our class. Whatthedamn? Seriously. And I failed it by two marks. One of the question was supposed to be a trick question, but I got so pissed off with it.

Question:When pure water freezes to ice, it's molecules:

A. Move closer and stop moving completely.

B. Move closer and move at lower speed.

C. Move further apart and vibrate at fixed positions.

D.Move further apart and continually change places with nearby molecules.

Of course A&D can't be the answers. But why? Why is the freaking answer C? I put B. It's obvious that when liquid changed state to solid, intermolecular forces becomes stronger and thus, molecules move closer together, vibrating at fixed positions. But the explanation given was : This is a trick question. When water becomes ice, 10% makes it increase in size. Thus, it expands and move further apart.

I mean, what kind of damn explanation is that?

All the freaking while, they have been teaching us that nothing changed when solid>liquid or liquid>solid. So now they start saying stuff like, ice increases in volume, or you should have learnt this is primary school or lower secondary science.

THAT IS BULLSHIT! Seriously.

Then the freaking question about Jupiter&Earth. How would Iknow that Jupiter is bigger than Earth? You're trying to make us assume.

Do not A-S-S-U-M-E, that's what every teacher is trying to tell us. We have to have proven evidence. So now, you're telling me to assume. Whatthedamnedcrap?

And somemore, there's no info, nothing, about Jupiter. Hello, for god's sake, we're not learning about solar systems now, so just give us the damned info already. It's wrong to say it's common sense to know all about solar systems, since we're not even REQUIRED to know it. So, whatthecrap?

_____

Anyway, the I♥you crap on facebook got me into so much trouble. The funniest thing was that at first, for the first 100 over comments, they were all guys. Say, ain't guys curious? (:

But anyway, no. I don't like anyone. Even if I did, Im not giving you the honour to know. *smiles*

Hey, darling♥